Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize