i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
