exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
