How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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