I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
