is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
