I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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