She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
