I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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