Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
