Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
