Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize