Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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