true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
