It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
