I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
