In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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