Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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