My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
