People in love make me want to vomit
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think my moral compass just broke
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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