There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
