I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
there is glitter all over my balls
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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