You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
