i wish peter jackson would direct porn
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
