Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize