Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
