it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
