I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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