her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
