if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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