Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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