Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
