My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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