I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize