Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
