love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
