i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I would fuck him just for his dog
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
