Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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