Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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