Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
