I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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