Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
