Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
