You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize