i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize