office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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