is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
