I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
should my penis look like a turkey
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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