Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
