Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.

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(772): View more from Florida

i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me

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(630): View more from Illinois

the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.

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(408): View more from California

Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.

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(845): View more from New York

she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave

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(416): View more from Toronto

You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos

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(802): View more from Vermont

I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.

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