Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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