Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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