If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
