it wasn't lemon gatorade
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
