Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
