my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
