just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
