I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
