i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
