My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
